Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays it is a common problem for young men to find their
first
job. Society tries to help them and gives them some opportunities to get experience and, at the same time, keep studying. I disagree for the reason I think it is unfair for
teenagers
to
work
without a salary in their leisure time. ,
Basically
Add a comma
,Basically
show examples
every
work
has to be paid
tonot
Correct your spelling
to not
matter of worker’s skills and age. Some labour which is
doing
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
helping people is unpaid but it is a volunteer and it comes from the heart. There are many social services which help people and all
Change the determiner
these
show examples
this
workers have a salary. The main goal of society is to teach
teenagers
respect
Fix the infinitive
to respect
show examples
any labour and it is impossible without fair conditions for everyone,
such
as salary, insurance, and others. The
second
reason for kids not doing unpaid
work
is
Fix the infinitive
to focus
show examples
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
studying. If society wants to get educated workers for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
it is necessary to let
teenagers
spend most of their time in school. Doubtless, if someone has a desire to help the community it is a great opportunity to get an experience and humane gesture.
Although
it always
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be when
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
sure
Add a missing verb
is sure
show examples
that it would not distract from the education. In conclusion, as
teenagers
have the same
work
conditions as adults and they are good at
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
it is very pleasant to help in community
work
as volunteers. The young generation is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
future of the world and they have to respect any
work
.
Submitted by mmolodtsov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: