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Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
Nowadays it is a common problem for young men to find their
first
 job. Society tries to help them and gives them some opportunities to get experience and, at the same time, keep studying. I disagree for the reason I think it is unfair for
teenagers
 to
work
 without a salary in their leisure time. ,
Basically
Add a comma
,Basically
show examples
 every
work
 has to be paid
tonot
Correct your spelling
to not
 matter of worker’s skills and age. Some labour which is
doing
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 helping people is unpaid but it is a volunteer and it comes from the heart. There are many social services which help people and all
Change the determiner
these
show examples
this
 workers have a salary. The main goal of society is to teach
teenagers
respect
Fix the infinitive
to respect
show examples
 any labour and it is impossible without fair conditions for everyone,
such
 as salary, insurance, and others. The
second
 reason for kids not doing unpaid
work
 is
Fix the infinitive
to focus
show examples
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studying. If society wants to get educated workers for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 it is necessary to let
teenagers
 spend most of their time in school. Doubtless, if someone has a desire to help the community it is a great opportunity to get an experience and humane gesture.
Although
 it always
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be when
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
sure
Add a missing verb
is sure
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 that it would not distract from the education. In conclusion, as
teenagers
 have the same
work
 conditions as adults and they are good at
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 it is very pleasant to help in community
work
 as volunteers. The young generation is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 future of the world and they have to respect any
work
.
Submitted by mmolodtsov on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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