IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#employees #salaries #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many different ways to encourage
employees
Use synonyms
 in a working environment to be more productive. Some companies believe that financial rewards are the only tool for motivation. In my opinion, the financial incentive is a strong motivational device but there are other stronger devices that should be
also
Linking Words
 considered. When looking at the benefits from the financial side,
employees
Use synonyms
 can secure a better lifestyle for their families. Educational wise,
this
Linking Words
 will able the
employees
Use synonyms
 to educate their children in good schools and universities to plan a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 path for their future.
Also
Linking Words
, economically wise,
this
Linking Words
 will motivate the employee to buy a property and move away from renting expenses. As discussed, raising salaries does play a vital role in encouraging workers to work harder but
also
Linking Words
 providing other incentives is crucial for the company’s and employee’s development. Moving to the other motivational devices away from gaining a higher payment. Companies and institutions can inspire
employees
Use synonyms
 to work on self and professional development.
This
Linking Words
 can be acquired by providing them with courses that can help them to improve their skills and knowledge in a specific field in order to move to a higher position with a greater salary.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the corporation itself can
also
Linking Words
 benefit from having skilled experts in different fields. Focusing on other ways to increase productivity will help the employer and the company to prosper and shine together. In conclusion, I strongly believe a motivational working environment should provide creative ways to support and inspire workers to be more productive. Focusing on one aspect
such
Linking Words
 as salaries will only focus on the employer's development and will completely neglect the organization’s success as a whole.
Submitted by shahad.abulainain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: