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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information
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In
Change preposition
These
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these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
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, most
people
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 are
techno savvy
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techno-savvy
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 and
using
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use
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 technology to exchange information on
digital
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the digital
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platform
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platforms
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 because of
the
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apply
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internet upgradation,
however
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, it occurs some issues which
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were
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was exist
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existed
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 before. There are multiple causes of
this
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,
however
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, certain measures could be taken to improve
this
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 problem. To commence with, there are multiple causes of
this
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 situation. The main one is that nowadays most
people
Use synonyms
 use the World Wide Web for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment purpose only. Because of the vast
usage
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
young
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the young
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 generation spend maximum time on social media or online games.
As a result
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, it may affect their work productivity and they could not perform well in their professional life.
In addition
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, these days, children
more
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are more
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 addicted
of
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to
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 electronic devices to play online
game
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games
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 and they may use adult
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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. In
modern
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the modern
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 era, digital advertisements are trending and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be seen by anyone
hence
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 they may see
such
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 irrelevant scenes. As a consequence, they could lead to
offend
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offending
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 when they would be at
teenager
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the teenager
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 stage. Various possible courses of action could be taken in order to tackle the above. In the
first
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 place,
people
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 have to define a limit
of
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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web
usage
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 in
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 life. If they consume limited time on the net, they would enhance
their tasks efficiency
Change to a genitive case
the efficiency of their tasks
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 and engage
with
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in
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 other physical activities
such
Linking Words
 as outdoor games, exercise etc. Another way forward, parents should monitor
on
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apply
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children’s activities while they are playing. If they would keep a child
lock
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locked
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 on gadgets and
setting
Wrong verb form
set
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 up boundaries of
usage
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which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 could be prevented them from 18+ contents.
Thus
Linking Words
, it would not affect their behaviour and perception which could not lead to any illegal activity. In conclusion, various factors have led to problems regards to humongous
usage
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 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
however
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,
this
Linking Words
 situation could be solved by individuals
to keep
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keeping
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 a limit
of
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on
show examples
 net utilization and monitor
on
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apply
show examples
pupils’ activities while they are playing games or watching videos. Given
this
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 situation, it is recommended that steps should be taken immediately in order to ensure that
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 efficiency of the
people
Use synonyms
 and children’s growth improve in the country.
Submitted by dhaval0302 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
What to do next:
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