IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some people believe in sharing information as much as possible in scientific research,business and academic world. other believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared

#people #information #research #business #world
The topic of sharing as much data as possible
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the public or keeping it for themselves is still debated. While there are some benefits of spreading the
information
 to others, I would argue that intelligence is better
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 not
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 shared freely. On the one hand, sharing info
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others is a helping tool to broaden the horizon. Through sharing, the informant may help the experts to discover a treatment to minimalize the side effects of a disease which benefits people’s life.
For instance
, patients report the symptoms
such
 as breathing problems and muscle fatigue when they have Covid.
Then
, the researchers find a way to formulate a vaccine to prevent and reduce the worse effects of Covid.
In addition
, the majority of people believe that knowledge can be richer when it is shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others.
On the other hand
, knowledge is not free. Money is needed to get some
information
 as a basic requirement to be successful in the future.
For example
, the university tuition has been paid in full amount before the class start.
Moreover
, living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 competitive world is difficult.
Thus
, keeping important
information
 and using it for ourselves is the key to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 goals and being the winner of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitions.
Also
, a reward has to be considered to be given to the best candidates which can help them to discover more of their knowledge. In conclusion, they are convincing arguments both for and against sharing
information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 someone, but I believe
that is
 better to keep the important
information
 individually.
Submitted by afina.mdn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: