Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #consequences

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It is irrefutable that long average working hours can bring

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

success. Some people state that there are several negative points that can influence individuals socially. I agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view and believe that doing a lot of tasks and

being

Verb problem

spending

show examples

much

time

Use synonyms

away from family can affect a person negatively. Long average working

time

Use synonyms

can bring some advantages to society in various aspects of life.

Firstly

Linking Words

, It can increase

economical

Replace the word

economic

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growth.

As a result

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, people can have higher incomes and

Linking Words

then

Rephrase

apply

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a better quality of life.

For example

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, 12-hour shifts in Japan

lead

Wrong verb form

led

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to a rapid increase in the GDP of the country and its population

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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higher prosperity without worrying about poverty.

Secondly

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, by doing

this

Linking Words

, the country would be more powerful and reputable internationally.

However

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, enormous social drawbacks are associated with long-

time

Use synonyms

jobs.

First,

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people who spend much

time

Use synonyms

on their tasks would not be able to manage their

time

Use synonyms

to be with their family.

This

Linking Words

being away can lead to many family problems

such

Linking Words

as the lack of happiness among the members of a family.

For instance

Linking Words

, children can feel alone consistently

due to

Linking Words

the lack of presence of their parents.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a person can be exhausted and become depressed because of having a monotonous lifestyle, so she can lose her productivity and creativity. In conclusion, considering the above-mentioned reasons,

although

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it is true that working more might have some benefits like a better economy, I stand with the opposing view and I believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by omid.afsharpour on Sat Aug 27 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate to the main argument. Also, use appropriate transitions to connect ideas and maintain the logical flow of the essay.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by presenting a well-developed argument supported by relevant examples. Ensure that all ideas are clear and comprehensive to fully demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

This days older people who have retired often choose to spend money on themselves for example and holding other than same money for their children is this a positive or negative development?

some people say that governments should spend money on building theatres and sport station. Instead, they should spend money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more women go out to work. It is the government&#39;s responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staffs and facilities to care for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

More and more women go out to work. It is the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staffs and facilities to care for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?