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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#marriages #case #development
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It is currently noticeable that, as styles and notions of marriages have changed over time, the expenses spent on those ceremonies have increased dramatically. From my point of view, it is a positive development since
people
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 should enjoy their once-in-a-lifetime
event
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.  As far as the causes are concerned, first of all, today’s
people
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 treasure
this
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 moment more than in the past since they now recognize that they will not get a chance to hold
this
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ceremony
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 for a second time.
Therefore
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,
people
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 end up making their weddings more fabulous than ever and,
this
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 results in extra costs and makes their marriages pricier.
Secondly
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,
due to
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people
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’s creative minds to make the
event
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 more memorable, the cost becomes high.
For instance
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, it is now trending to have couple photos with the background of breathtaking sceneries before the wedding and to make a recorded video of memorable moments of the couple. Back in the day, there were no
such
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 thoughts so the budget spent on the
ceremony
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 was relatively lower than the present because travelling to exotic destinations only to get wonderful photos and hiring
people
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 and equipment to make a video are costly. In my opinion,
this
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 development is fantastic because I personally believe that
people
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 should get an opportunity to have contentment (which can only be bought with money nowadays) at their weddings since
this
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 is a once-in-a-lifetime
ceremony
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.
Moreover
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, they will never forget
this
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 precious moment by spending money thriftily on the
event
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 because ,in psychological terms, the more expensive the item or
event
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 is, the more difficult it is to forget the purchase.
Thus
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, it should be understandable why weddings should be up to standard. In conclusion, marriage should be something which can give us nostalgic feelings whenever we look back on them.
Hence
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, we should value
this
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ceremony
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 by making the
event
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 more fabulous and memorable.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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task response
Make sure to fully address all parts of the question in a clear and comprehensive manner. Use relevant examples to enhance your arguments and support your opinions.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive structure to your essay by using clear and logical transitions between ideas and developing your paragraphs more fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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