IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Increasing housing problem in big city is a social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #consequences #people #government
Growing
Correct article usage
The growing
show examples
 population in big cities
Correct your spelling
increase
increas
Correct your spelling
increases
 the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, which is an unsolved problem in many urban areas. Some people claim that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 is just the
guvernment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 problem, others think it is
also
 an individual issue .
Personaly
Correct your spelling
Personally
Personal
 believe, as an
individual
Add a comma
,individual
show examples
 we can not do much in
this
 matter, but it is one of the
Correct your spelling
major
majore
Correct your spelling
major
duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
show examples
 of government to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solution.
Firstly
,
Change the article
an
the
show examples
ascendant number of people in towns
generate
Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
show examples
 more money in
administration's
Correct article usage
the administration's
show examples
budget
, which money
Correct your spelling
should
schould
Correct your spelling
should
 be
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 in the
first
 place for housing, to
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
 the population well being. It is the
taxpayers
Change noun form
taxpayer's
taxpayers'
show examples
 write to ask the
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 for
solution
Correct article usage
a solution
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the mater
show examples
mater
Correct your spelling
matter
show examples
 of lack of houses. As an individual people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough power to do great changes.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 in many
alection
Correct your spelling
election
 one of the
polititien's
Correct your spelling
politician's
promise
Change to a plural noun
promises
show examples
 to
Add an article
the residence
a residence
show examples
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they will put more accent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
housing development ,
consequently
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
this
 promises should be
keeped
Correct your spelling
kept
show examples
.
Moreover
, to
finde
Correct your spelling
find
disentaglement
Correct your spelling
disentanglement
 in
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 question it is necessary a good and capable
stat
Correct your spelling
state
show examples
 administration. Construction development
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 profit
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
Correct article usage
the stat's
show examples
stat's
Correct your spelling
state's
show examples
budget
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 profit can be reinvested in housing,
consequently
 can be solved two problems in one; the housing issue and
riseing
Correct your spelling
rising
 the state
budget
. In conclusion,
although
 many cities
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
ar
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 fighting
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and homelessness,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems can be and must be solved by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, which is
Correct your spelling
possible
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 with a good
budget
Correct your spelling
management
managemant
Correct your spelling
management
.
Submitted by virlicstunde on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: