IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that the age of shopping malls is coming to an end, soon online shopping will completely replace retail stores. Explain the reasons for this and give your own opinion.

#people #age #malls #stores
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Is a common opinion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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store shopping will be soon
repleaced
Correct your spelling
replaced
released
 by
the
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apply
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online one. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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this
Linking Words
 will happen for sure since the advantages of
the
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apply
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online shopping
fits
Change the verb form
fit
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 better with
ours
Correct the word
our
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 busy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
blifestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
.
In these
Change preposition
These
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 days we live our lives faster than ever before, we have all busy days so we need to save as much time as possible and
the
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apply
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online
services
Use synonyms
 are the best way to accomplish that.
For example
Linking Words
, with
the
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apply
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online e-commerce
such
Linking Words
 as Amazon or Zalando, we have
an
Change the article
a
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 space where all brands are available within
few
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a few
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 clicks which is
Correct your spelling
impossible
impossibile
Correct your spelling
impossible
 in a mall. Sometimes to check all our favourite retail
stores
Use synonyms
 we need to change different malls or shopping roads which takes
an
Change the article
a
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 huge
Correct your spelling
amount
amoung
Correct your spelling
amount
 of time.
Furthermore
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, there is
an
Change the article
a
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 wide range of
services
Use synonyms
 we can't have in the
stores
Use synonyms
, let's think about the security of the online payment, the shipping and returning
services
Use synonyms
, the phone
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assistance
assistence
Correct your spelling
assistance
also
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 after the payment. All
these
Change preposition
of these
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 contributes to the user experience which is always individual and equal for all the clients while in the
stores
Use synonyms
 there are just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
employeers
Correct your spelling
employees
 for several clients. In
Correct your spelling
addition
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addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
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, online sites
has
Change the verb form
have
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the
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apply
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review session where is possible to check
Correct quantifier usage
other
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others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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clients
Change noun form
clients'
client's
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 reviews so we have more information about something we would like to buy.
This
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 is crucial for
the
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apply
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brand awareness and it helps to avoid bad experiences. Taking into consideration all the points above, I truly believe that
this
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 is the end of the
Use synonyms
stores
Change to a genitive case
store's
stores'
show examples
 age and that in the following years a lot of live
services
Use synonyms
 will
Correct your spelling
replaced
replace
repleaced
Add a missing verb
be repleaced
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online ones.
Submitted by stadnykviktoriya on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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