IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many students find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
A large number of
students
 find it hard to concentrate on their academic studies and at
school
. There are several reasons why
this
 happens.
Firstly
,
students
 like to seat
next
 to their friends so they could talk about a lot of things which it is not related to their
lesson
. Nowadays, there are schools that are not strict on seating arrangements because they believe that if you seat
next
 to the people you know, it will have a positive effect on being attentive to your teacher. It might benefit to some but sometimes it can
also
 give a negative impact on the
students
.
Second
, bringing gadgets to
school
,
for example
, game boy, cellphones, laptops and etc.
Although
, it is not a bad thing to carry electronic devices to
school
, because somehow it can help them in terms of emergencies like
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
. In
this
 day and age, kids don't engage anymore in playing outside anymore during break time. It is a trend now to play internet games to pass the time.
However
, if kids feel boredom when a
lesson
 starts, they probably use their gadgets to play while they are in class.
Finally
,
teachers
 don't interact with their
students
 while the lecture and just focus on their
lesson
. It is a fact that
teachers
 will still receive their monthly payments even if their
students
 will listen to them or not. Because of that, few
teachers
 don't engage with
students
 and keep teaching. To solve the problem of distracted
students
, the
school
 should have strict rules in terms of devices being allowed to be brought to
school
. If there's a chance that it is allowed, it should be surrendered to their teacher before starting a class to ensure that the
students
 will pay attention more.
In addition
,
teachers
 should conduct an activity in their lectures to encourage
students
 to participate.
For example
, a quiz or an oral recitation at the end of a lecture will help
students
 to be alert and focused on their
lesson
. The
teachers
 should
also
 make an effort to make sure that their lessons are exciting at the least and not to keep blaming
students
 for their lack of participation.
Submitted by angelica on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: