Your workplace does not have a car park, causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •describe the problems; •explain what benefits a car park would bring to the company; •suggest a solution for the car park problem.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to share about the problems and the causes of car parking.
I am Sam, currently working as a Software Developer in the Information Technology department for the past five years. Recently, we had a plethora of car parking issues. Furthermore
, our employees are parking their vehicles on the side of the road which causes a huge problem for the public when they cross our office, because of the narrow space to travel.
Moreover
, if our company builds a parking space for our workers, it will provide various benefits to them. First,
it will help to reduce the traffic level caused by our workers. In addition
, our labourers will also
feel safe and satisfied when our firm provides an allocated area for them to park their four-wheelers.
Finally
, I would like to share some recommendations for the car park problem in this
letter. First,
we can purchase an elevator kind of parking. Therefore
, it helps us to optimise the land area as well as
we will have enough space to park the four-wheelers. Second,
we can provide tags to our people. Hence
, they can identify their spot and it helps to avoid confusion between others.
I hope you can understand our situation and I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
SamSubmitted by jeeveshkb22 on
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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or details to fully explain the benefits of having a car park and how it directly impacts employee satisfaction and efficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhancing transitions between paragraphs and ideas can help improve the flow and understanding of your points.
Task Response
You have clearly outlined the problems, benefits, and suggested solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
The formal tone is appropriate for the context of writing to a manager, and the letter format is correctly followed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphing shows that you can organize information logically, helping the reader follow your ideas easily.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite