IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequence #care #people #life #expectancy #outweigh
From Earlier days to the present day, there is a huge enhancement in medical research. Some
communities
 believe that
people
 are improving their
life
 span through advanced medical care while some other
communities
 argue with
this
 matter. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both advantages and
disadvantages
 and
then
 we will see whether the advantages overweigh the
disadvantages
 or not. On the one side, Medical research is a part of globalization where there is rapid growth in
this
 technology.
For instance
, During Covid-19, medical research is done to cure the Carona Virus.
Firstly
, by improving the
life
 expectancy of
people
, elder
people
 are living longer where these elder
people
 are having high experience in their workforces and have lots of patience compared to younger pupils. With their experience and patience, these
people
 will handle various problems in society.
For instance
, In China, the average age of the population is 85, where elder
people
 are more in count compared to younger. Due to
this
 reason, the GDP of China is high compared to other countries.
Secondly
,
communities
 should take care of their offspring when they go into the workforce so it is better to leave their offspring with their grandparents rather than a caretaker. Infants who grow up near their grandparents have great improvements in their skills compared to children who are left with caretakers. On the other side, there are some
disadvantages
 when there is an increase in
life
 expectancy because by improving the
life
 span of
communities
 the elder
people
 population is more compared to youngsters. Due to
this
 reason, in every workforce employees are almost elder
people
 whereas younger
people
 are getting fewer opportunities. And society should take care of their elder members and look after their medical problems.
This
 may lead to a rapid decline in the economy of a country. To sum up, In my view the advantages overweigh the
disadvantages
. By improving the
life
 span of
communities
 younger
people
 can learn things from elder
communities
 with their experience.
Submitted by madarapulavanya1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: