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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some People Think That The Problem With Education In Poor Countries Is The Teaching Methodology Used

In the present era, the governments are more
focusing
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focused
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 on
education
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as a result
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 of
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awareness
awarness
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awareness
 in the
people
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.
However
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, some
Linking Words
third world
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third-world
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countries
Use synonyms
 cannot contribute their best in schooling. I believe that developing
countries
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 are still facing some economical and financial issues to encourage studies. I have mentioned several problems
further
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 in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, in poor
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countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 basic necessities
such
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 as food,
habitate
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habitat
habitats
 and health are not completely
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fulfilling
fullfilling
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fulfilling
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
public
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the public
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 are living below
poverty
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the poverty
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 line. Where
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 population is already suffering from scarcity of primary needs, the government cannot fund
on
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apply
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education
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.
Hence
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, in public
schools
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 methods of
Correct your spelling
teaching
teching
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teaching
 is extremely poor. The government hires less
knowledgable
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knowledgeable
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 teachers in low income who could not take proper lessons.
Additionally
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,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of land for
school's
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the school's
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 playground
,
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apply
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 hinders
students
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 to participate in sports and various functions. Many public
schools
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 are not offering proper and nutritive mid-day meals to children, which
also
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 lessens
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encouragement
encouragment
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encouragement
 among
students
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.
Furthermore
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, in developing
countries
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,
mentality
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the mentality
show examples
 of poor
people
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 is
also
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 very poor and negative. They think that schooling is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money and time.
Fix the agreement mistake
Children
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Child
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A child
The child
show examples
 can learn and earn better when they are exposed to labour or farming work.
This
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 is the reason why child labourism is prevalent in poor nations.
Moreover
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, gender discrimination is
the
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apply
show examples
another great
obstacles
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacle
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towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. Many teachers in
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
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government
schools
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 sometimes give their personal
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to
students
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instead
Linking Words
 of taking lectures. On top of
this
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,
schools
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 don't have a regular
Correct your spelling
blackboard
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black board
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blackboard
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 as well as fans and
tubelights
Correct your spelling
tube lights
 in the classrooms. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some rich public who can afford private
schools
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 send their children there and are ready to invest money
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
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 are of
backward
Correct article usage
the backward
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 class,
overall
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the overall
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 literacy rate is lower in developing
countries
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 as compared to
Correct your spelling
developed
develpoed
Correct your spelling
developed
 nations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in rich
countries
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 where
students
Use synonyms
 are provided audio-visual rooms, tablets and laptops for studies, can remain more attentive
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. They can understand topics better by doing practicals and seeing picturization and tutorial videos on it. Regular test patterns and memorizing tools, help
students
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 to recall and apply
studies
Replace the word
studied
show examples
 content easily. In conclusion, major government money is used on
people
Use synonyms
's primary needs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Linking Words
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
, leaders cannot spend more on
education
Use synonyms
 and schooling.
Hence
Linking Words
,
poor
Add an article
the poor
a poor
show examples
 methodology is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 problem in
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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