IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries increasing number of people are suffering from from health problems result of eating too much fast foods government should impose higher taxes on them on what extent do you agree or disagree with this

#countries #people #health #foods #government #taxes
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Fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 is the trending problem nowadays, people are suffering
through
Change preposition
from
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 many fitness related
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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Correct your spelling
because
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of eating outside
meal
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meals
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 like
Add an article
a burger
the burger
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burger
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burgers
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,
sandwich
Fix the agreement mistake
sandwiches
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, pizza, etc. I disagree
on
Change preposition
with
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statement
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the statement
a statement
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 given that government should apply taxes on fast foods.
Ruling
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The ruling
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 party should not deal with these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of problems because they have got many other important
task
Change the wording
tasks
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 to handle,
their
Replace the word
there
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 are many issues to solve after them like defence, infrastructure,
other
Correct word choice
and other
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 development projects,
instead
Linking Words
 of looking or solving these issues
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 don't think they should be focusing on the fast foods or taxes on it. for
Correct your spelling
instance
Correct your spelling
instance
instatnce
Add a comma
,instatnce
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 there are many
croud
Correct your spelling
crowd
 that are earning
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because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of the food stalls or meal restaurants. they will be affected because of it.
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 talking about the health concern of the people, they should be
self aware
Add a hyphen
self-aware
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 if
this
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 thing government can not focus on these type of task.it is ok to eat outsider meat one's or twice in
month
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a month
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 but eating it for daily will affect there own
helath
Correct your spelling
health
, and
also
Linking Words
 applying taxes on street stalls or maida product will not stop eater from having it, so
this
Linking Words
 will not help
minimizing
Change the verb form
to minimize
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 the
cosumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 or health issue
reagarding
Correct your spelling
regarding
 it. To summarize, bakery product which contains maida in it are not good for
human
Add an article
the human
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 body, por respect to
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 health issue.
government
Add an article
the government
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 should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply
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not give attention
towards
Change preposition
to
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 these issues because they have other things to handle.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
,also
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to suggest people
to
Remove the particle
apply
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have house food , to stay
Correct your spelling
healthy
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heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
.
Submitted by Abhishek on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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