In order to Spend a quality life, some say, people need to have more money and some say people need free time. What do you think is important. What are the other things which are required to have a quality life?

#quality #life #say #people #money #time

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is considered by some

people

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that

people

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need to have more

money

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and some say

people

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need free

time

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. İn my opinion ,

money

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and free

time

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

important for a

quality

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life

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On the other hand

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, family and

friends

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need a

quality

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life

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for

people

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Firstly

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, many

people

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struggle with wars and poverty

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because

becasue

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because

they don'

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have

money

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or free

time

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Therefore

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, many

people

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who don'

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have

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apply

show examples

money

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

time

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can'

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spend a

quality

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life

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over

the

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apply

show examples

their

life

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, and

thus

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many troubles reveal

such

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as poverty and slavery.

Therefore

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money

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and

freetime

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free time

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are

show examples

so important for

people

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. A human that

have

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has

show examples

money

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than other

people

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can spend

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better

life

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For instance

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, a child can go to the best schools thanks to

parents

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their parents

his parents

her parents

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and

moreover

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, a

quality

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life

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can be provided to

his

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him

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thanks to

money

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. Because

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apply

show examples

his parents have

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apply

show examples

money

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or free

time

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Secondly

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, another point to consider is that

although

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many

people

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have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

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Correct your spelling

free

fre

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free

time

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, they can'

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spend a

quality

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life

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due to depression . Because , unfortunately , many

people

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who are alone don'

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have a family or a friend ,and

therefore

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these

people

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can become a

deppression

Correct your spelling

depression

. İn my opinion ,

therefore

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, family and

friends

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are so important .

For instance

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, many

people

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who don'

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have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family or

friends

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will be alone , and

thus

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they are becoming

deppression

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depression

Furthermore

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, they can'

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spend a

quality

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life

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due to these reasons. İn conclusion ,

money

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and free

time

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

so important for a

quality

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life

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but

on the other hand

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although

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

many

people

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who have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

money

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and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

time

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can be unhappy due to

Change the verb form

being

show examples

alone . İn my opinion , family and

friends

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

so important like

money

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and free

time

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for

Change preposition

show examples

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

quality

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by atescagdas826 on Fri Sep 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial resources
Life satisfaction
Mental health
Free time
Work-life balance
Excessive
Imbalances
Quality of life
Healthcare
Recreational activities
Social connections
Community bonds
Personal fulfillment
Sense of purpose
Financial stability

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In order to Spend a quality life, some say, people need to have more money and some say people need free time. What do you think is important. What are the other things which are required to have a quality life?

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing number of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Many cannot speak or present well in public. Some people think that it is important to speak well in public, so the training should be from school. Do you agree or disagree?

These days we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television and this is having a negative impact on children's beahaviour.do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or an institution. Discuss your opinion and give reasons to support your answer.

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion