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Band 4.5

Some people think that to be successful, you need to get a university education, whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education
Few individuals believe that education plays a vital role
to become
Change preposition
in becoming
show examples
 successful in life
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that a
degree
 is not necessary to achieve life goals. In the forthcoming ,paragraphs we will discuss both views of the essay. There is a school of thought that any person can become a successful entrepreneur, they just need a hardworking nature and
completely
Change the word
complete
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 ambition
about achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
 their goal and focus as well.
For instance
, my friend is a great owner of automobile manufacturers, though; he had only a secondary school
degree
.
Resultantly
Rephrase
As a result
show examples
, aspirants need motivation and guidance to complete their dreams. Contrarily, an official bachelor’s
degree
 is required from a recognised University, for those who want to be an engineer, doctor, business administrator and so on. As they get basic theoretical and practical knowledge,
this
 is required in future for better employment. To exemplify, a brain surgeon needs proper
skills
 to perform successful surgery on patients, which he can get only in medical universities.
Besides
 its academic records from universities, it helps to improve various
skills
such
 as communication
skills
, team-spirit
skills
, and leadership
skills
 among others by staying in a different kind of environment.
While
 doing graduation, students get an opportunity to broaden their social circle and participate in competitive exams, which
ready
Verb problem
prepare
show examples
 them for a future competitive world.
Additionally
, it will help them to build up their confidence levels.
To conclude
, no doubt that
higher
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highly
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 qualified people always get more preference
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
low
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
educated
however
 there are several alternative fields in which society becomes successful without any education
degree
.
Submitted by gurmit.150 on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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