IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think is a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary area, a wide range of
children
Use synonyms
 are exposed to technology,
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones that
this
Linking Words
 is the main gadget that has filled the spare
time
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 for hours. The Young generation plays a crucial role in the prospect of society,
this
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 begs the question; are the negative aspects of
this
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 development, outweigh the positives? I subscribe to the notion that would effects
children
Use synonyms
 imperfectly.
First
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 and foremost contributing factors that take the
children
Use synonyms
 on an important part of the list is because of that they are vulnerable and immature. To explain , juveniles have a deep passion for seeking on the internet and finding new attractive matters. As a
,
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apply
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result
Add an article
a result
the result
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 they may find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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content that would increase violence and vandalism in the
children
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 . In ,addition research has shown that not only using a cellphone as a faster and portable gadget would not be lucrative but
also
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 would intensify their exposure to harmful content .
Secondly
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 , due to
phone
Use synonyms
 addiction among
children
Use synonyms
 , the rate of
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time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 using the
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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phone
Use synonyms
 increased.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon leads to disruption in their learning course of action. Regarding positive aspects,
this
Linking Words
 is an absolute privilege having the young generation that has been accustomed to technology as fast as they could by their smarts
phone
Use synonyms
 . To illustrate, governments do not need to make plans to learn new technology. In another ,scenario
children
Use synonyms
 waste their
time
Use synonyms
 by overusing
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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.
Hence
Linking Words
 they need to take more
time
Use synonyms
 on their curriculums. Contrary, smartphone limits their opportunities to go out and be with
a
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apply
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real friend
not
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,not
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the
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apply
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online version. Ultimately they would feel depressed . To conclude, nowadays numerous
children
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 are taking
time
Use synonyms
 on their cellphone dramatically. Wasting
time
Use synonyms
 and exposing bad content are the negative aspects of
this
Linking Words
 issue. There is no doubt that those reasons convert
children
Use synonyms
 into an important case.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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