children spend a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games, however it does not improve their mental abilities. do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #tv #computer #games #abilities

In today's digital age,

children

are increasingly engrossed in watching television and playing

computer

games

However

, there is a prevailing concern that these activities do not contribute positively to the enhancement of their mental

abilities

. In

this

essay, the author will argue why they disagree with

this

assertion and believe that

and

computer

games

can indeed have a beneficial impact on

children

's cognitive

development

Firstly

, it is crucial to acknowledge that not all

programs and

computer

games

are created equal. Educational shows and interactive

games

designed specifically for

children

can provide valuable learning experiences.

For instance

, educational programs often incorporate language, math, and problem-solving skills in an engaging manner, thereby fostering cognitive

development

Likewise

, certain

computer

games

require strategic thinking, decision-making, and spatial awareness, all of which are essential cognitive

abilities

Moreover

, exposure to diverse content through television and

computer

games

can broaden

children

's knowledge and stimulate their curiosity. Documentaries,

for example

, offer insights into various subjects

such

as science, history, and nature, encouraging

children

to explore new ideas and concepts.

Similarly

, interactive

games

often present challenges that require creative thinking and adaptability, thereby exercising

children

's mental faculties.

Furthermore

, moderate use of

and

computer

games

can complement other forms of learning and play. When balanced with outdoor activities, reading, and social interaction, screen time can be a part of a holistic approach to child

development

For instance

, watching a documentary about animals may inspire a child to explore nature outdoors, reinforcing their learning in a real-world context. In conclusion,

while

excessive screen time may indeed have detrimental effects on

children

's mental

abilities

, the author believes that judicious use of television and

computer

games

can positively contribute to their cognitive

development

. By offering educational content and stimulating challenges, these mediums have the potential to enhance

children

's learning and critical thinking skills when utilized appropriately.

Therefore

, the author disagrees with the notion that

and

computer

games

are inherently detrimental to

children

's mental

abilities

Submitted by 11E4 Community on Mon Apr 01 2024

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task achievement

To further enhance your essay, consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies that demonstrate the beneficial effects of educational content and interactive games on children's cognitive development. This can bolster the persuasiveness and depth of your argument.

task achievement

Be mindful of maintaining a balance between presenting your viewpoints and offering concrete examples. While your argumentation is strong, enriching your essay with more empirical evidence or real-life instances could make your points even more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Your essay showcases a well-structured argument, featuring a logical progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion. To refine it further, you might elaborate on the counterpoints to your argument, then effectively refute them. This would not only show a comprehensive understanding of the subject but also strengthen your original stance.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively used a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which enriches the reading experience and demonstrates your command of the English language.

task achievement

Your essay does an excellent job of presenting a clear and nuanced perspective on the issue, acknowledging the potential benefits of screen time while also highlighting the importance of balance and content quality.

coherence cohesion

The organization of your essay, with its clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument, enhancing both coherence and readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

325 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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children spend a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games, however it does not improve their mental abilities. do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Smoking should be banned in all public places even though it would restrict some of other people’s freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?