IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The world today is faced with global warming which is becoming more serious day by day. Why do you think is has happened? What are effects of this development?

#world #effects #development
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of four transportation modes in a European city which used to travel between workplace and residence in three different years with the twenty years interval, starting from 1960. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport by car was the greatest number in the year 2000, while the majority of people prefer to transport on foot in 1960.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 an upward trend, travelling by car rose dramatically from approximately 7% to about 25% in 1980, and moderately grew to 37% in 2000. Moving on the downward trend, the most remarkable point
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 the proportion of foot mode was noticeably decreased by nearly a quarter, falling from 35 in 1960 to 10 in 2000.
Additionally
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 presented a similar trend to considerably drop by around a fifth. The exception to
this
 was travelling by bus because the percentage reached the peak at around 27% in 1980. After
peaking
Correct pronoun usage
its peaking
show examples
 point,
this
 number had fallen back nearly to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1980.
Submitted by chuthathip.athan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: