In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this? What can be done about this problem?
We have been witnessing growth in major sectors all around the world and the agriculture sector is not behind nowadays.
Although
, the positive advancements, in some parts of the world food
deprivation is still a major crisis. There are several problems associated with this
trend ranging from monopolies in technologies of developed countries to environmental conditions. We will also
discuss some posible
but effective solutions as well.
Perhaps the main cause of Correct your spelling
possible
this
problem is the difference in technologies that used
by developed nations and developing nations. More powerful and resourceful countries are monopolizing their state-of-the-art technology that can be useful to help countries with Add a missing verb
are used
food
shortages such
as Africa or Central America where one-time
meal is hardly available. Add an article
a one-time
the one-time
Furthermore
, these advanced changes can work only with certain weather conditions. For example
, an artificial cloud generator can only work in humid conditions. If weather
is harsh and dry Correct article usage
the weather
then
it will be useless. Last
but not least, the pricing of the product tends to go higher when advanced types of equipment are involved in its manufacturing process.
There are three possible solutions to this
problem. The first solution can be aid from governments and local authorities who are responsible for taking care of the population in crises rather than spending on less important issues. This
aid can help people with less financial capability and unfortunate people to acquire some food
. The second one is the collaboration between diffrent contries
who can share Correct your spelling
different countries
such
technologies which can help to grow more food
on non-agriculture lands which will prove beneficial. Protecting our environment is a good solution but it is more of a long run.
In conlusion
, if people can consider learning to live with a good habit of sharing Correct your spelling
conclusion
then
this
problem will be resolved easily with direct and indirect solutions.Submitted by modijainil191919 on
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task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the question thoroughly. Consider elaborating more on how technological monopolies and environmental conditions lead to hunger, providing specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and well-developed. Each point should be fully explained and supported with specific examples when necessary.
grammar spelling
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'contries' should be 'countries' and 'diffrent' should be 'different.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs logically flow, linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance coherence and cohesion.
grammar spelling
Make sure to proofread your work to avoid minor typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'conlusion' which should be 'conclusion.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective but could be slightly more concise and focused.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
You have made some strong points about monopolies in technology and environmental conditions, showing awareness of complex global issues.
content
The proposed solutions are practical and realistic, demonstrating a thoughtful consideration of the problem.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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