In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this? What can be done about this problem?

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We have been witnessing growth in major sectors all around the world and the agriculture sector is not behind nowadays.
Although
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, the positive advancements, in some parts of the world
food
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deprivation is still a major crisis. There are several problems associated with
this
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trend ranging from monopolies in technologies of developed countries to environmental conditions. We will
also
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discuss some
posible
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possible
but effective solutions as well. Perhaps the main cause of
this
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problem is the difference in technologies that
used
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are used
show examples
by developed nations and developing nations. More powerful and resourceful countries are monopolizing their state-of-the-art technology that can be useful to help countries with
food
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shortages
such
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as Africa or Central America where
one-time
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a one-time
the one-time
show examples
meal is hardly available.
Furthermore
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, these advanced changes can work only with certain weather conditions.
For example
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, an artificial cloud generator can only work in humid conditions. If
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
is harsh and dry
then
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it will be useless.
Last
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but not least, the pricing of the product tends to go higher when advanced types of equipment are involved in its manufacturing process. There are three possible solutions to
this
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problem. The first solution can be aid from governments and local authorities who are responsible for taking care of the population in crises rather than spending on less important issues.
This
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aid can help people with less financial capability and unfortunate people to acquire some
food
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. The second one is the collaboration between
diffrent contries
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different countries
who can share
such
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technologies which can help to grow more
food
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on non-agriculture lands which will prove beneficial. Protecting our environment is a good solution but it is more of a long run. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, if people can consider learning to live with a good habit of sharing
then
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this
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problem will be resolved easily with direct and indirect solutions.
Submitted by modijainil191919 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the question thoroughly. Consider elaborating more on how technological monopolies and environmental conditions lead to hunger, providing specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and well-developed. Each point should be fully explained and supported with specific examples when necessary.
grammar spelling
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'contries' should be 'countries' and 'diffrent' should be 'different.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs logically flow, linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance coherence and cohesion.
grammar spelling
Make sure to proofread your work to avoid minor typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'conlusion' which should be 'conclusion.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective but could be slightly more concise and focused.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
You have made some strong points about monopolies in technology and environmental conditions, showing awareness of complex global issues.
content
The proposed solutions are practical and realistic, demonstrating a thoughtful consideration of the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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