IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

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Introduction
Many peoples have a problem
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 free
Use synonyms
time's
Change noun form
time
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 feet by dangerous
games
Use synonyms
 and
videos
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 are increasing their rudeness.they are worrying about their effects on
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
 and emotions of their
children
Use synonyms
.I agree with
this
Linking Words
 act of parents that try to care
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's
Fix the agreement mistake
health
show examples
healths
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Body · 1
To start with,the effects of anomalous
games
Use synonyms
 are on different aspects of
children
Use synonyms
 .
for example
Linking Words
,
Body · 2
People who play inappropriate
games
Use synonyms
,most of the
time
Use synonyms
,
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 angry and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a forcible
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
.
also
Linking Words
,sometimes speaking
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 changing among the times.if
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 or see
videos
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
,the
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 aren't able to do their
Correct your spelling
homework
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 and it has
a terrible effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a terrible effect
terrible effects
show examples
 on their education.
Body · 3
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
 who have
children
Use synonyms
 should
be control
Change the verb form
control
show examples
 the
games
Use synonyms
 and
videos
Use synonyms
 which are provided to their
children
Use synonyms
.of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 they could
writing
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
 a plan for their
children
Use synonyms
's free
time
Use synonyms
 and limits the free
time
Use synonyms
 of the
children
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 play
games
Use synonyms
 and see
videos
Use synonyms
.residue times can feat by learning something else wich daughters or boys like them.
Conclusion
In conclusion,the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
violence
Correct article usage
the violence
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 and movies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 .people should control their
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 plays and movies.they can replace
Correct pronoun usage
them it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
good hoboes or useful classes for learning some art.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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