Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents

There are controversial opinions that

children

who commit

crimes

are worth being punished,

whereas

some advocates suppose that the people who should be punished are

parents

. In my respective, I partly agree with the first opinion because without

punishment

every time

kids

make things wrong, it will result in consequences for their growth. The

parents

take the

punishment

instead

of their

kids

due to

the innocence and curiosity in

kids

' minds. Obviously,

children

are too young to understand what deeds they should do or not, in part they are curious about new things and want to discover to satisfy their questions, resulting in faults with no expectations.

Therefore

punishment

is too strict for

children

Moreover

, the behaviour of

kids

is affected by their

parents

. Precisely, if

parents

took care of their offspring carefully and

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

good examples for their sons or daughters,

kids

would form good character to not commit

crimes

However

, I partially agree that

children

would rather be punished when they commit

crimes

because they will be aware of deeds they can do or not. If

parents

ignored

Wrong verb form

ignore

show examples

their

kids

' deeds, or over-indulge in everything they do, even

admonish

Wrong verb form

admonishing

show examples

themselves

instead

of the

kids

, there would gradually create a thought that they do correctly, at least they do not get punished when they do wrong,

then

it becomes a bad habit being difficult to fix in the future.

Additionally

children

have little awareness of the correction in things they do, so there has to be a

punishment

to not let them become actual

crimes

one day.

However

, there should not be mental

punishment

for the

kids

besides

the illegal deed, it can cause obsession in

children

and make them live isolatedly with their

parents

. Light

punishment

such

as not allowing them to have a meal if they have a behaviour of not respecting rice. In conclusion,

although

there is some agreement in letting

parents

be punished

instead

of their

children

, I approve of the opinion that

punishment

is necessary for

children

to not commit

crimes

again.

Submitted by phuongbaouyenngo1 on Tue Sep 06 2022

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task response

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and provides clear and relevant arguments for both views. Also, provide a clear opinion with balanced arguments for both sides.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, make sure to organize ideas in a logical and coherent manner to maintain the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

You are invited to a party, however, because of some reasons you didn’t attend. Write a letter to the friend who invites you: (1) explain the reason why you didn’t go; (2) express your apology; (3) ask about some details in the party.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative thing?