Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. What are the causes of stress among young adults and what do you think can be done to overcome this problem?

#life #parent’s #generation #illnesses #world #stress #adults

Nowadays younger generations tend to have a more stressful lifestyle than their parents did in the past. There has been an increase in mental

health

among them. In

this

essay, I will point out how social

media

platforms with visual content have increased adolescents' mental

health

Firstly

, it can be seen that in current times people are using social

media

on a daily basis, which was something their parents did not have any access to. Since these

apps

are a newer item for young viewers their

brain

has not yet been able to adapt fully to the amount of time they spend on these platforms.

For instance

, young individuals tend to spend a lot of hours on different kinds of social

media

apps

like Facebook, Instagram or Tik Tok. These

apps

have a lot of information which makes it harder for their

brain

to adjust

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apply

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Furthermore

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when they constantly stare at the screen and the amount of new information, they either read watch or listen

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apply

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Correct pronoun usage

itto

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Moreover

, when these young adults are using these social platforms more regularly, they are keeping their

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

in a constant active state which creates

Remove the article

apply

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internal stress.

For example

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having access to these

apps

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apply

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causes the

brain

to always be in a

switched on

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switched-on

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mode and never lets it fully rest.

This

is harmful to their

brain

and will trigger their mental

health

to decline and feeling more ill.

In addition

, by reducing the amount of time they spend

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apply

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being active online they will have the ability to reduce their levels of stress and improve their overall

health

. In conclusion, young adults tend to feel more stressed and

having

Wrong verb form

have

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increased

Replace the word

increase

show examples

in mental illnesses due to having access to these social

media

apps

. If they were to reduce the time spend on them, they will feel more relaxed and happier.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Wed Sep 07 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. What are the causes of stress among young adults and what do you think can be done to overcome this problem?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think the young generation should choose their professions or their parents should choose? Explain your idea

A road near your home is damaged. Please write your town/city council to complain about it. In your letter •tell them who you are and where you live; •explain the nature of your complaint; •say what you would like them to do about it

In modern times young adults spending more time with their friends and less time with family. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?