IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
In several nations, an escalating number of citizens are suffering from health problems because of unhealthy eating habits which as excessive fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many argue that the authority is responsible to implement a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
. I firmly agree with the aforementioned view because of two rationales: to prevent sellers from producing
food
Use synonyms
 that contains poor nutrients and indirectly
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 consumers to set a preference for a healthy diet.
Body paragraph 1
The unbalanced amount of nutrients contained in fast
food
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
's daily
meals
Use synonyms
 is responsible for the increased risk to individuals' health.
People
Use synonyms
 can suffer from various diseases like cancer, cardiovascular problem, and other chronic illness when they cannot maintain healthy eating habits. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, the involvement of the government to alleviate the detrimental effect of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 through
tax
Use synonyms
 instruments is essentially required.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy fast
food
Use synonyms
 will obviously make the price increase leading to difficulties for producers in selling the
food
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Another argument in favour of the proponent of a higher taxation scheme is
this
Linking Words
 approach can softly drive
people
Use synonyms
 to change their eating habits into healthier ones. If a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 is implemented by the government on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
meals
Use synonyms
, the price of
food
Use synonyms
 will significantly increase and become a huge burden on
people
Use synonyms
's daily expenditure.
Consequently
Linking Words
, citizens might consider selecting other kinds of
meals
Use synonyms
 that not only have good nutrients but
also
Linking Words
 with lower costs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the scheme of higher taxation on fast and unhealthy
meals
Use synonyms
 is an important measure to prevent the negative impacts of unbalanced nutrient foods. Another effective measure related to the transparency of
food
Use synonyms
 ingredients of the meal should be taken into account to comprehensively solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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