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Band 7

Modern people mostly stay at home rather than going outdoors. What are the reasons for this trend? Is this trend good or bad?

#people #home #trend
It is evident that
people
 of the current period spend most of their time indoors. There are many reasons for
this
 increase in the fraction of the population preferring to stay at
home
instead
 of going outdoors.
This
 essay outlines some of the reasons and discusses the impact of
this
 trend on society. Some of the reasons why
people
 went outdoors in the past were for shopping, meeting friends and family, banking and work. Surprisingly, it has now become possible to do all of
this
 from
home
.
For example
,
people
 can use the internet to do online shopping and have it delivered.
Moreover
, technology has allowed
people
 to conduct meetings online and work from
home
.
This
 has particularly increased after the pandemic as both employers and workers have discovered the benefits of working from
home
.
Although
 it is true that staying at
home
 has provided the convenience of the comfort of doing everything
while
 staying within the personal bubble, there are problems that come with it. There is a growing number of
people
 with minimal social skills and many are suffering from social anxiety. The lack of human interaction which resulted from staying indoors plays an important role in adults having reduced social skills.
To conclude
, technology has provided the accessibility for
people
 to do everything from
home
 which has resulted in
people
 not having the necessity to go outside.
Although
this
 is convenient under many circumstances, the lack of human interaction has led to reduced social skills and psychological disorders.
Therefore
, the trend of continuously staying at
home
 is not beneficial to mankind.
Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are well defined, clearly setting and summarizing the topic. Maintaining this structure aids in delivering a well-rounded argument.
Linking Words
Try incorporating a broader range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, further improving coherence.
Specific Examples
Including more varied and specific examples can enrich your argument, providing clearer insight and support to your points.
Balanced Discussion
Ensure a balanced discussion by exploring both sides of the argument comprehensively. You've made a good start, but more balance could strengthen your position.
Task Response
Your essay clearly addresses the task with a well-structured response, covering the reasons for the trend and its implications.
Paragraphing
You effectively use paragraphs to organically structure your essay, creating a logical flow of ideas.
Use of Examples
Your use of specific examples like online shopping, remote work, and social anxiety strengthens your argument by providing concrete evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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