Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays,many countries
request
Verb problem
require
people
who Use synonyms
work
for a long average working Use synonyms
time
to improve the economy more effectively.Use synonyms
Although
I agree that working for a long Linking Words
time
may help a company or Use synonyms
enterprise
improve performance, the employees could be more stressed during Use synonyms
work
,so Use synonyms
this
phenomenon that the Linking Words
enterprise
Use synonyms
as well as
the government should take heed of.
In the first place, a long average working Linking Words
time
of advantage that could improveUse synonyms
the
productivity. Correct article usage
apply
For example
,Linking Words
people
usually Use synonyms
work
eight hours during a day,but factory doesn’t achieve the production output,they should extend the working Use synonyms
time
to finish it,there is no denying that growing up for a longer Use synonyms
time
can complete the plan,mission and customer demand，Use synonyms
also
the consumer will trust the company’s ability.Linking Words
Secondly
,the long length of working Linking Words
time
has achieved bigger innovation, exemplifying my viewpoints,Use synonyms
while
creating a new idea,the engineer or manager needs a lot of Linking Words
time
to research, so have more Use synonyms
time
,they can make full use of all the team to finish the new product,it is beneficial to the Use synonyms
enterprise
and make the country more competitive.
Use synonyms
However
,under the rapid development of the economy, long average working Linking Words
time
would exert negative effects on workers.Meanwhile,workers have to be functioning incessantly for extended hours,which contributes to both physical and mental fatigue can not achieve a Use synonyms
work
-life balance,not only the goal will fall short of company expectations,but Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
may
cause employees to leave the company.Owing to Verb problem
apply
this
influence,it will not have a competitive edge over other countries and Linking Words
people
will not attend public activities because they are so tired.
In conclusion, a long average working Use synonyms
time
in a country for society or Use synonyms
enterprise
could have a variety of advantages or disadvantages.Use synonyms
Although
long Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
time
can increase productivity, it could have serious repercussions for society,Use synonyms
therefore
the proper Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
time
is good for Use synonyms
people
to enjoy life, countries increase competitively to another country.Use synonyms
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Task Response
The essay does address both the economic benefits and the social consequences of long working hours, which is key to the task. However, the balance between the two could be more evenly discussed. Spend more time exploring both sides with more depth to enhance the essay's comprehensiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow of your ideas could be improved. Try to clearly distinguish between points and support each point with examples or evidence consistently.
Task Response
To achieve a higher score, make sure examples are specific and directly support the points being made. This will make your arguments more persuasive and relatable to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
Task Achievement
There is a recognition of the dual nature of long working hours (economic success vs. social consequences), which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.