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Band 5.5

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this, and how could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults
Obesity
 is not a relatively new phenomenon, but it has grown among
people
 in the new century. ,
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
this
 phenomenon is rooted in many factors, whose investigation can help us to adopt the right solution. The root cause of
obesity
 lies in
people
's new lifestyles all over the world. Today, advances in technology provide the context in which
people
 can cram in a lot of tasks in a short period,
such
 as working, shopping, keeping in touch with friends and family, and to name but a few.
As a result
, a sedentary lifestyle and not take enough exercise
Add the particle
to
show examples
contribute to putting on weight and
obesity
. An unhealthy and poor diet is
also
 quite effective in
this
 regard. Consumption of carbonated drinks and junk
food
 like fast
food
 has grown in popularity recently, which contain many sugar, salt and unsaturated fat, and pose serious threats to the human body. Every day,
people
 are bombarded with hundreds of advertisements depicting soft drinks, chain restaurants,
food
 courts and new products of manufacturers, which are intended to give a clear message to the audience. In dealing with
such
 a problem, the most critical step is to raise public awareness. The media,
in particular
, should assume an active role to inform the public about the destructive and deleterious consequences of
obesity
.
People
 should be encouraged to do more exercise on daily basis to keep in shape and burn out some calories, so government must construct sports facilities like walking/jogging tracks and gyms in all neighbourhoods.
Last
 but not least, tax should be levied on junk
food
 heavily and at the same time, organic and healthy
food
 should be provided cheaper. In brief, I hold the view that
obesity
 is rooted in social changes that have occurred in human society. Tackling
this
 problem requires informing
people
, enacting appropriate laws and providing some facilities.
Submitted by behzad.tahmouresi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Fast food
  • Convenience foods
  • Caloric intake
  • Physical activity
  • Nutrition education
  • Economic factors
  • Health policies
  • Marketing strategies
  • Incentives
  • Subsidies
  • Overconsumption
  • Portion sizes
  • Healthy lifestyle choices
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