ome people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

#ome #people #illness #disease #governments #efforts #pollutions

It is a saying that government should pay more attention to reducing environmental

pollution

and housing problem

instead

of preventing illness and disease. I partly agree with it, and

this

essay will explain why. It is true that

pollution

and residential problems become more and more seriously. The

first

thing is the public suffers

pollution

from in cities and rural areas. Industries want to make more profits, so they move to rural regions. Many

people

who live in the countryside, will intake waste gas, which comes from factories. It will cause significant damage to their body if they undergo

this

pollution

Also

, car emissions and noise make folk who live in cities, could have more respiratory and mental

diseases

Furthermore

, there is a large number of

people

living in crowded and dirty places due to housing problems. There is not enough personal space for them, and hard to clean.

Finally

people

's mental and body

health

will suffer a significant impact.

On the other hand

, it is impossible to ensure society is completely safe, disease prevention is an important defence line to protect

people

health

. Nowadays, we have much more methods to prevent

diseases

For instance

people

use masks to prevent novel coronavirus infections, which is a sufficient way to keep our

health

Moreover

, children are vaccinated in the

first

few years of life. Through

this

method, thousands of children are protected from

diseases

As a result

, preventing

diseases

has a noticeable influence on

people

health

. To sum up, both are excellent measures to improve our

health

. So, I believe that government should make efforts in reducing

pollution

and housing problems, but we should

also

prevent

diseases

Submitted by charlessung.hk on Sat Sep 10 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ome people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

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People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?