Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases

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The

technologies

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to monitor people's behaviours have been dramatically developed.

This

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trend causes a new problem of people's privacy.

This

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essay will discuss the pros and cons of those

technologies

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and consider whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not. First of all, in most cases, these inventions are introduced as measures to prevent criminals from taking illegal actions

such

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as murders and sales of illegal drugs. Actually, the more security cameras have been set up in our city, the less number of

crimes

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will happen. To prevent

such

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incidents from occurring which harm citizens, we need a sense of being watched by someone. On

this

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point, those

technologies

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have played an important role.

However

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, when it comes to an issue of our privacy, there is a risk that others will abuse the records for wrong purposes

such

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as stalking.

Thus

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, what we need to consider is how we can eliminate the possibility that someone can abuse the information stored in the database. When we compare the positive impact of these

technologies

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on our society to the negative effects, I think that the advantages will outweigh the shortcomings in the sense that they have played an extremely important part in preventing

crimes

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from happening. In conclusion, new

technologies

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to record what people are saying and doing are quite useful to make our society more secure.

However

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, at the same time, there is

also

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a problem that they are used for

crimes

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that they are trying to take away.

Therefore

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, it is ironically necessary for us to consider the ways to stop

crimes

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taking use of them.

Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on Mon Oct 28 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all main points are well-supported with specific examples to enhance understanding and depth.

coherence cohesion

Maintain consistent logical flow among paragraphs to further improve coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in surveillance.

coherence cohesion

The essay has clear sections with an introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively structuring the response.

task achievement

The discussion on the role of technology in crime prevention is well-articulated, presenting a clear, relevant idea.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Surveillance
Cell phone tracking
Security cameras
Privacy invasion
Data security
Crime prevention
Transparency
Accountability
Customer service
Misuse of data
Breach
Identity theft
Autonomy
Efficiency
Psychological impact
Awareness

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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that completing University education is the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills are important Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?