In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Throughout the world, young

people

perform an axial role in each society. In some nations, youngsters are expected to work or go on a trip after ending

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high

School

Fix capitalization

school

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and before beginning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college for one year. It seems to me

this

idea could have constructive impacts on young

people

’s lives and the merits and demerits of

this

plan for adolescents following it will briefly be summarized in

this

essay. There could be a considerable negative point for youths

Correct your spelling

show examples

they make

decision

Add an article

the decision

a decision

show examples

to travel or work for a year before starting university. I maintain that they are highly likely to be

Correct your spelling

treated

threatened

threated

Correct your spelling

threatened

by some corruptive managers in their workplace by reason of the fact that

such

fraudsters misuse

Correct your spelling

inexperienced

show examples

unexperienced

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inexperienced

show examples

young

people

in order to achieve their inappropriate goals.

For instance

, a study conducted

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Oxford university based on the rate of crimes in adolescents in 2015 has revealed that approximately 65% of criminals were adolescents who had been misled by their supervisors.

On the other hand

, there are plenty of positive aspects for young

people

pursuing the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

plan.

Firstly

this

short period of

traveling

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travelling

show examples

or having

job

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a job

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helps them to be financially independent. It means that they could be able to make money by working, which not only can purchase anything needed, but

also

they are capable of paying their universities’ tuition without asking

money

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for money

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from their parents.

Secondly

, there is no denying the fact that they will turn

Change preposition

into

show examples

well-rounded

people

, after finishing

this

short time

spending

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

lonely. To illustrate more, a survey carried out

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show examples

Ottawa college has shown that a vast majority of students with

wide

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a wide

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variety of valuable experiences had asserted that they had been living alone for

short

Add an article

a short

show examples

period of time in other cities and got in a lot of dilemmas, yet had to tackle their difficulties by their own. To conclude,

this

writer is of the opinion that the pros of encouraging youngsters to work or travel for one year before starting

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

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outweigh their cons.

Submitted by mehri.qobadi66 on Sun Sep 11 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep.

“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Each government and authority gave funding to art society; however, some people including me are strongly of the opinion that this is a type of wasting money and it is not profitable action that all social class can use it.