IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists predict that cars will be driven by computers, not people in the near future. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It has been predicted by some, that
humans
Use synonyms
 will witness, in the upcoming years, robotic
cars
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 on the streets because of the rapid revolution of technology.
Although
Linking Words
 I find myself inclined to give
such
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 development a five-star rating.
However
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, there is a potential danger impeded in depending completely on machines which are directed by robots. To commence with merits, I find as many others, auto-drive
cars
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 could save
time
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 and effort done by
humans
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. In the sense that, drivers would not be nervous on roads as usual, as the advanced technology in these types of
cars
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, offers accurate computers to calculate speed and monitor the road to either slow down in traffic or resume speed within the permitted limits when possible.
For example
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, Masdar, the ultimate advanced city in the UAE operates
cars
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 of
this
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 kind on its roads to protect individuals and less the figures of collided vehicles on the streets. At the same
time
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, it is undeniable, that machinery could break down at any
time
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 even if it was manufactured with high quality.
Therefore
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,
humans
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 can not rely on these auto-pilot
cars
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 for one hundred per cent.
For example
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, in the near
time
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, the manufacturer company
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Tesla announced to its customers that they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to pay attention to their ways, as their
cars
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 failed in many tests to identify children as a danger so they did not stop the engine until the car collided with the body.
To conclude
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, The aforementioned points clearly show the pros of giving computers the command to drive,
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the positive aspects reflect on
humans
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' safety and health , but it clearly
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 that it should remain monitored by the driver .
Whereas
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, the complete absence of human attention on the auto
cars
Use synonyms
' performance could lead to high potential risks.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point, and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more detailed explanations and examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example from Masdar city to support your point about the benefits of robotic cars.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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