Some people say that industries growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?
It is controversial whether the
growth
of industries leads to the elimination of poverty since it can harm the environment. I partially agree with the former view, for the expanding economic activities promote employment opportunities for the poor regardless of the fact that they pose some dangers to nature with their pollutants.
On the one hand, industrial Use synonyms
growth
will save more people with financial disadvantages as it encourages them to work more. Use synonyms
In other words
, the rapid advancement of economic activity will require employers to increase more labour to sustain their Linking Words
growth
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, those who suffer from the lack of money Linking Words
due to
unemployment are able to find jobs more easily so they are more likely to be independent to pay for their accommodation and food. Linking Words
Furthermore
, individuals will be provided with the necessary amount of money, with which they can afford to pay their medical and educational fees as well. Linking Words
In addition
, their standard of living will continue to rise when they remain employed for an extended period of time as some of them are even able to gain a more comfortable and entertaining life including watching movies in the theatres and enjoying shopping and their hobbies. Linking Words
As a result
, the growing industries will make it possible to minimize the problem of poverty.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there are some negative consequences that the expansion of Linking Words
factories
will have on the environment because of their rising emission of harmful chemicals. Indeed, there will be a detrimental impact on nature as more Use synonyms
factories
are built and run for days and nights to increase their production. Use synonyms
For instance
, tons of contaminated water have been already emitted into the ocean from radiation plants which provide electricity in Japan. Linking Words
This
can not only damage the quality of water in the sea but Linking Words
also
cause more deaths of innocent marine creatures nearby. In fact, thousands of fish were washed up on the shore near Kanagawa Linking Words
last
year, whose number of Linking Words
factories
outweighs other parts of Japan. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the Linking Words
growth
of economic activities will pose Use synonyms
such
a threatening outcome on nature, which cannot be recovered easily.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the expansion of business will help poor people find their jobs more easily, which allows them to gain more independence and satisfaction. Linking Words
However
, people should be aware of the significant effect that it will have on the environment as it is damaged severely by the growing level of dangerous chemicals constantly produced by Linking Words
factories
.Use synonyms
Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'Conversely,' can help link ideas more clearly.
task achievement
To enhance task response, further elaborate on how specific industries could target both poverty reduction and environmental protection. This will demonstrate a balanced, nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, include a few more specific examples of industries that have successfully balanced economic growth with environmental sustainability. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both perspectives, which shows a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, making your arguments more convincing.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.