IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the dis advantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #dis
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Museums
Use synonyms
 are essential for the preservation of our antiques and historically important monuments. Through
museums
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, we can visit our history and culture and even relive it.
Hence
Linking Words
,
museums
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 are essential for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nations. There are some
museums
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 that provide free admission whereas, there are others that charge an
entry
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fee
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. I,
however
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, believe that they should charge
admission
Correct article usage
an admission
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fee
Use synonyms
 as the benefits of it outweighs the disadvantages. On one hand, free
entry
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 increases the footfall in the
museum
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. Even the people or families that cannot afford an outing can visit a
museum
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 if
its
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it's
it is
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 free.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the footfall may reduce if an
entry
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
fee
show examples
free
Correct your spelling
fee
show examples
 is charged, as not everyone will be able to afford the visit.
Linking Words
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
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,
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to people
been
Wrong verb form
being
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 deprived of an opportunity to learn about their history.
However
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, there are several pros if an
entry
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fee
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 is charged
such
Linking Words
 as an
entry
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fee
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 will provide funds to the
museum
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 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 maintenance. The
museum
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 can be kept clean and in a good condition. In the same
way
Add a comma
,way
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 the
entry
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fee
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 will
also
Linking Words
 enable the
museum
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 to acquire more
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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 and monuments for the
museums
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. They will
also
Linking Words
 be able to hire instructors and guides that will help the customers to have a better experience and understanding.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
museums
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provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 a device with the recording of the details of various objects and pieces in the
museum
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. The devices
also
Linking Words
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 the direction that people can follow to understand the flow of things. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of levying a charge on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 admission
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more than the disadvantages of it as it helps in
maintenance
Add an article
the maintenance
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 of the
museum
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 and better quality services can be provided by the
museums
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 like the short documentary services, tour guide services, etc.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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