IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #patients #health
We all are familiar with the famous saying “Health is Wealth”. It is rightly said that if we want to live a long and a happy
life
, we should take good care of our health. In
this
 essay, we will discuss whether Doctors should be responsible for educating their
patients
 about the ways to be followed for a healthy lifestyle.
To begin
 with, a doctor’s
first
 and foremost duty is to treat their
patients
 and diagnose them with proper medication. Doctors play a vital role as they save people from losing their lives. Considering the importance of their
life
, I believe that educating the
patients
 will consume a lot of their precious time which can be used to save someone else’s
life
.
However
, giving a piece of advice is no harm as that would be effective and beneficial at the same moment.
For example
: if a diabetic person is under treatment, a doctor should guide him/ her on what foods to avoid and what to include as a part of their diet. It would be really difficult for a fully employed doctor to educate their
patients
 along with the treatment. We need to understand that a doctor’s
life
 is very precious. One should adapt a healthy lifestyle and there are various reliable sources available to gain knowledge related to improvisation of health.
For example
: apps like Healthy-Fi-Me guides on diet and workout based on individual’s body structure.
Therefore
, we conclude that
nonetheless
 Doctors should be guiding their
patients
 in relation to health improvement,
however
that is
 not a part of their core duty.
Submitted by cshivam2675 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • medical interventions
  • healthcare professionals
  • consultations
  • dietitians
  • health educators
  • literacy skills
  • visual aids
  • digital tools
  • reputable online resources
  • community programs
  • ongoing support
  • patient outcomes
  • initial guidance
  • mitigated
  • follow-up consultations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: