IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people beleive that it is necessary to reavel abraod to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary because all the information can be seen on TV. Give us both views with your own views

#people #beleive #reavel #abraod #countries #information #tv
learning about other lands has been appealing throughout humans' lives. there is the assumption that says visiting other countries to aware and learn about them is vital,
nevertheless
, others believe that it would be unwise to travel to different regions due to
technology
 has provided the more easy way. in my opinion, travelling to other countries bring more effective experiences which
technology
 could not. supporters of visiting foreign societies state that travelling can bring more efficient and real experiences. they think digital innovations limit humans to feel real emotions and by travelling we can gain better experiences
such
 as greeting with a different population
for instance
. they add social media and online platforms have always do not show all the detailed information and most of the time the beliefs of writers and presenters interfered with the true content and misunderstanding would be extended
as a result
.
for example
, there is a rich variety of assumptions about historical accidents, and sometimes presenters want to extend their own ideas through TV which sometimes are not based on real happenings. the group of people who are opposed claim that with the blossoming and global development of
technology
, travelling might be just wasting precious money and time. over the past few years, TV programs provided easier ways to fillful human travelling needs.
for instance
, the TV dedicated particular channels to introducing culture and traditions around the world.
moreover
, these days a number of people are dealing with a lack of time and financial challenges in
this
 hectic life.
as a result
, they point out alternative ways of travelling would be the more logical choice. In conclusion, I believe despite the fact that
technology
 brings more convenient ways, it could not be the best alternative way to feel real emotions.
Submitted by mahshadrezaee1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: