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Band 6

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

#years #structure #roles #changes
These days according to digital and socioeconomic transformation, most
phenomens
Correct your spelling
phenomena
phenomenons
phenomenal
 have been changed
such
 as
families
 and their roles.
Although
live
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in the new world requires
Correct your spelling
different
Correct article usage
a diffrent
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 lifestyle, I
Correct your spelling
believe
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the previous kind of family was better.
Firstly
, various developments in technology and civilization lead ordinary people to a newish life.
To begin
 with, smartphones and cut-edge technologies fascinate
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 to spend more time on social media
instead
 of having fun with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
In other words
, most close-knit
families
 are no longer a pleasure
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, because they do not communicate with each other like before.
Moreover
, living in cities requires a substantial amount of money, while most
families
 are on a tight budget, so even women have to take up a profession. In traditional
families
, women used to be a housewife, and they had particular
duties
 and rules,
econimically
Correct your spelling
economically
economical
, nowadays they have to spend 8
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 a day in
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 job which causes miss plenty of their
duties
 as a housewife, and other members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 should do them. In my opinion, I believe that these changes
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 some disadvantages, while
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
families
 advocate
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 newest lifestyle.
First
 of all,
happiness
Add an article
the happiness
show examples
 of persons
ties
Wrong verb form
tied
show examples
 to the amount of
commiunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 which they have with other members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis.
For instance
, one of my friends
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 most of his time
on
Change preposition
apply
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browsing through Instagram, and he always experiences a nocturnal lonesome sensation, meanwhile, he would better
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
speak with his
Correct your spelling
siblings
sibblings
Correct your spelling
siblings
 more to avoid
this
 awful feeling.
Furthermore
, all the family members should do their own
duties
. Mothers have a significant role to nurture a child, and working outside the home can
propmpt
Correct your spelling
prompt
 mislead their vital
duties
.
For example
, when I was
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
, my mother left me at home alone, while I looked for someone to talk with. In short,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
receiving
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 maternal feelings bring me some psychological diseases. In conclusion,
although
 conditions force
families
 to change, I wish we could
ihabit
Correct your spelling
inhabit
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 authentic family structure.
Submitted by alihamzeh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: