Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successul person?

The term 'success' can be described in various ways, and there are myriads of definitions in terms of how individuals regard what kind of
person
suits the most
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the word 'successful'. I strongly believe that
affluant
Correct your spelling
affluent
people are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
strongly linked to the term 'success'. The most compelling reason why I think wealth is the one which can present a successful
person
is that it is undeniable that good-paid jobs are exorbitantly hard for employees to get. To be more specific, a
person
who is working in a company that gives
fat
Correct article usage
a fat
show examples
salary means that they had satisfied the capability which the firm required,
thus
they reached a high level to be entitled to get well-paid. Another point worth mentioning is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is eventually the money that can
Correct your spelling
fulfil
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
the public's
life
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
. What I mean is that in the present situation where the price rate is extremely high, without money they can not enjoy
such
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
life
. Moving on to the
next
question what is the fact that leads people to become
successul
Correct your spelling
successful
, there are several ways to
Correct your spelling
answer
anwser
Correct your spelling
answer
this
question.
First
and foremost, a
person
who
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
his or her goal could be called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
person
who had succeed. A
person
who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
fruitful by getting high funds and who reached their final
staged
Replace the word
stage
show examples
which they had dreamed of
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
in common
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they both worked hard and choose to go through a challenging
life
intentionally.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, a
person
who has a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can be a successful
person
. Take 'Edison' as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example.
His
Correct pronoun usage
He
show examples
is the greatest inventor along
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
scientest
Correct your spelling
scientist
who
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
greatly
greately
Correct your spelling
greatly
influenced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by inventing a '
light
Change the article
the light
show examples
bulb'. Thanks to
this
amazing invention people all over the world could live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better
life
,
thus
it is safe to say that he is one of the
successful
Correct quantifier usage
most successful
show examples
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world. In conclusion, there are tonnes of materials that can define a
person
whether they have lived
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a worthful
life
or not,
however
, on balance, given that money has never been unimportant in our lives, I am convinced that wealth is the key to
discriminate
Wrong verb form
discriminating
show examples
who
succeed
Correct subject-verb agreement
succeeds
show examples
or not.
Submitted by clara_you on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: