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Writing Samples
Band 5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successul person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #successul #person
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The term 'success' can be described in various ways, and there are myriads of definitions in terms of how individuals regard what kind of
person
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 suits the most
with
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apply
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the word 'successful'. I strongly believe that
affluant
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affluent
 people are the
one
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ones
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 who
are
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is
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 strongly linked to the term 'success'. The most compelling reason why I think wealth is the one which can present a successful
person
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 is that it is undeniable that good-paid jobs are exorbitantly hard for employees to get. To be more specific, a
person
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 who is working in a company that gives
fat
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a fat
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 salary means that they had satisfied the capability which the firm required,
thus
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 they reached a high level to be entitled to get well-paid. Another point worth mentioning is that
,
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apply
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 it is eventually the money that can
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fulfil
fullfill
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fulfil
 the public's
life
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qulity
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quality
. What I mean is that in the present situation where the price rate is extremely high, without money they can not enjoy
such
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satisfied
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satisfying
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life
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. Moving on to the
next
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 question what is the fact that leads people to become
successul
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successful
, there are several ways to
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answer
anwser
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answer
this
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 question.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, a
person
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 who
acheive
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achieve
 his or her goal could be called
as
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apply
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a
person
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 who had succeed. A
person
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 who
are
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is
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 fruitful by getting high funds and who reached their final
staged
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stage
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 which they had dreamed of
have
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has
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lot
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a lot
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 in common
that
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apply
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they both worked hard and choose to go through a challenging
life
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 intentionally.
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Additionally
Addtionally
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Additionally
, a
person
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 who has a huge impact
to
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on
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the
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apply
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society can be a successful
person
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. Take 'Edison' as
a
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an
show examples
 example.
His
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He
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 is the greatest inventor along
as
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with
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 a
scientest
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scientist
 who
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
greatly
greately
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greatly
 influenced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by inventing a '
light
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the light
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 bulb'. Thanks to
this
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 amazing invention people all over the world could live
in
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apply
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a better
life
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,
thus
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 it is safe to say that he is one of the
successful
Correct quantifier usage
most successful
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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among
Change preposition
in
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 the world. In conclusion, there are tonnes of materials that can define a
person
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 whether they have lived
in
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apply
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a worthful
life
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 or not,
however
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, on balance, given that money has never been unimportant in our lives, I am convinced that wealth is the key to
discriminate
Wrong verb form
discriminating
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 who
succeed
Correct subject-verb agreement
succeeds
show examples
 or not.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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