IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
These days, the
crime
 rate is climbing in several countries. I believe determining the causes of
this
 issue can assist in finding effective solutions to overcome it. It has been observed that unemployment can account for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
. Unemployed
people
 are unable to supply their requirements or basic needs.
Thus
, they are more likely to turn to
crime
. To address
this
 issue, more job opportunities should be created by Governments in order to reduce the
crime
 rate. Having a suitable job can act as a deterrent and assist to have a better standard of living. The fast pace of life can cause
stress
.
Consequently
, it has a negative effect on
people
’s feelings and gets them angry. It leads to a fight and sometimes more crimes are committed in
this
 situation.
People
 should learn to control their
stress
 because
this
 factor can reduce the efficiency of their lives. Unfortunately, a vast number of
people
 are oblivious to the consequences of
stress
. To remedy the situation, the government should raise
people
’s awareness about
this
 problem. I find that travelling is highly beneficial to reduce the amount of
stress
 and making
people
 happy. Governments should be created free recreational facilities for all
people
, and
people
 should be encouraged to have fun more. They can give money every month and comply them to go travel on a monthly basis. To conclude, even though, a lack of suitable jobs and high
stress
 have contributed to increasing the
crime
 rate, Governments can resolve these problems. In my opinion, creating job possibilities and free travelling are steps in the right direction.
Submitted by tp_esteghlal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: