The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Many

people

believe that the crime rate nowadays is increasing compared to the past due to the advanced technology which can prevent and solve

crimes

. I totally agree with

this

opinion because high technology can help us to grasp useful information about criminals and support strictly the protection of social order.

To begin

with, the main reason why I believe

crimes

can be prevented and solved by modern

equipments

Correct your spelling

equipment

is that it helps us increase our insight about lawbreakers.

People

can know the security situation in the areas and learn how to prevent

crimes

through televisions, smartphones or other media.

Therefore

, everyone can protect themselves and get away from unlawful acts.

For instance

, when we recognise the serious consequences of illegal activities

such

as murder, trafficking amount of illegal substances or petty

crimes

, we will know how to keep ourselves from embarking on a life of crime.

Secondly

, another reason why I support the statement is that the development of machinery will ensure the safety of

people

living in the areas. The installation of more surveillance cameras in public places would help prevent potential criminals when they know they are being constantly observed.

In addition

, the police can catch offenders in hiding. And

then

this

would greatly contribute to crime reduction and provide humans

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

sense of safety and security.

For example

, in banks,

people

install technology systems

such

as cameras and sensors to deter cases of robbery. In conclusion, I completely agree with the notion that modern devices can reduce the rate of lawbreakers because it provides us

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

important information and contributes to

prevent

Change the verb form

preventing

show examples

criminals. In my opinion, advanced

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

an important role in preserving social order and security.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Wed Sep 14 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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