Today the high sales of popular consumer products reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The increment of selling products is absolutely contributed by effective and popular advertisement.

This

Linking Words

indicates that the more famous it is, the higher

possibility

Correct article usage

the possibility

show examples

of profit will be.

Nevertheless

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Company

Correct article usage

the Company

show examples

will

eager

Add a missing verb

be eager

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to create more and more interesting advertisements. On the other side, people who purchase things could be persuaded by those short videos on television, rather than their needs.

Therefore

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this

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essay will elaborate on the relationship between increased sales and people's behaviour in buying something.

To begin

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with, a person will buy his basic

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

such

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as rice, sugar, salt, vegetable oil,

vegetable

Fix the agreement mistake

vegetables

show examples

, and fish,

according to

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his financial ability and

also

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the stock availability. They are certainly bought in order to be able to do his activities. In

such

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a condition, he

maybe does

Wrong verb form

may

show examples

not need certain information to purchase it.

On the other hand

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, even though they are primary things for daily human life, the brands' choice could be very possible based on advertisements seen on TV and in brochures.

For example

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, elders tend to buy Bimoli than Kunci Mas for vegetable oil or Himalaya than Dapur for salt.

In addition

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, they sometimes could ignore the price just because they really want to use a certain brand as they are fans of its model and it is the power of advertising.

Hence

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, it will impact the purchase volume and benefits the company. In conclusion, I agree that high sales of products could be impacted by their popularity caused by the persuasive short movies on TV or related to a specific model.

Moreover

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, people could indeed buy things like clothes, meals, and many others not

due to

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their necessities, but just because of impulsive decisions.

smart_girguWed Sep 14 2022

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task achievement

Your main points are clear, but they could benefit from additional development and more specific examples to fully illustrate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Strive to improve the logical flow between ideas by using a variety of cohesive devices. This will help to create a more seamless and comprehensible argument.

language use

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly sets up the essay topic and provides a clear thesis statement.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your position.

clear comprehensive ideas

You provide a balanced view by discussing both the influence of advertising and the actual needs of consumers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumer behavior
psychological tactics
artificial needs
extensive advertising
product necessity
aggressive marketing campaigns
societal norms
non-essential items
product innovation
genuine needs
social media influencers
consumer choices

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Today the high sales of popular consumer products reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Som e people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time.Discuss both sides of question!

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?