Today the high sales of popular consumer products reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increment of selling products is absolutely contributed by effective and popular advertisement.
This
indicates that the more famous it is, the higher
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
of profit will be.
Nevertheless
,
Company
Correct article usage
the Company
show examples
will
eager
Add a missing verb
be eager
show examples
to create more and more interesting advertisements. On the other side, people who purchase things could be persuaded by those short videos on television, rather than their needs.
Therefore
,
this
essay will elaborate on the relationship between increased sales and people's behaviour in buying something.
To begin
with, a person will buy his basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
,
such
as rice, sugar, salt, vegetable oil,
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
, and fish,
according to
his financial ability and
also
the stock availability. They are certainly bought in order to be able to do his activities. In
such
a condition, he
maybe does
Wrong verb form
may
show examples
not need certain information to purchase it.
On the other hand
, even though they are primary things for daily human life, the brands' choice could be very possible based on advertisements seen on TV and in brochures.
For example
, elders tend to buy Bimoli than Kunci Mas for vegetable oil or Himalaya than Dapur for salt.
In addition
, they sometimes could ignore the price just because they really want to use a certain brand as they are fans of its model and it is the power of advertising.
Hence
, it will impact the purchase volume and benefits the company. In conclusion, I agree that high sales of products could be impacted by their popularity caused by the persuasive short movies on TV or related to a specific model.
Moreover
, people could indeed buy things like clothes, meals, and many others not
due to
their necessities, but just because of impulsive decisions.
Submitted by smart_girgu on

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task achievement
Your main points are clear, but they could benefit from additional development and more specific examples to fully illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strive to improve the logical flow between ideas by using a variety of cohesive devices. This will help to create a more seamless and comprehensible argument.
language use
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets up the essay topic and provides a clear thesis statement.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your position.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the influence of advertising and the actual needs of consumers.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • psychological tactics
  • artificial needs
  • extensive advertising
  • product necessity
  • aggressive marketing campaigns
  • societal norms
  • non-essential items
  • product innovation
  • genuine needs
  • social media influencers
  • consumer choices
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