Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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In today’s world, superstars are often praised for their glamorous lifestyle despite their hard work and accomplishments. Some populations believe

this

Linking Words

behaviour could have an adverse influence on the young population and I agree with

this

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statement to a large degree. Many people do not see the truth behind

celebrities

Use synonyms

’ glamorous lifestyles. Raffi Ahmad,

for example

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, is one of the

celebrities

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in Indonesia who is mainly known for his wealth and extravagant lifestyle. Rarely do people focus on his struggles to achieve success.

This

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gave a false assumption to most young people, which could negatively impact their sense of self if we are not careful.

In addition

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, most young folks are still searching for themselves. When they do not see the struggles that

celebrities

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might have to face to attain their successes, youngsters may be thinking that they can have it all easy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they can easily feel dissatisfied with their current life and self-image. They must know that

celebrities

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are here to please and entertain the masses and what they see on social media may not portray reality.

That is

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why we need to teach youngsters to look at

celebrities

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' lives in a more objective way. In conclusion, the young’s confidence and their perception of themselves should be nurtured and protected. To do

this

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, we might have to remind them to spend less time on the internet and remind them that

celebrities

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’ glamorous lifestyles are just an illusion, and they should not be something to be compared to.

Submitted by dinaputi on Thu Sep 15 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and families. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.