IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life
Many celebrities have gotten terrible problems from social
media
,
such
 as social bullies, horrible comments, etc. In my opinion,
although
 some
people
 thought that it is the consequence of being famous,
people
 are living under the law and human rights are significant, including privacy. Becoming famous is not easy, especially when everything can be online immediately, less than a minute.
For example
, lunch photos with families or friends of the actor could be on social
media
 before they finish the meal.
Furthermore
, those photos could be shared, forwarded, and commented on social. The worst situation would happen when comments become extremely negative and turn into social bullying in the end. It does not affect only a moment but it could affect their life, their both mental health and physical health
also
 their careers. Without the truth, consideration, and humanity, who would take responsibility for these careless actions on social
media
? should those celebrities be responsible for that?
On the other hand
, before individuals become well-known, they need to know that sacrificing their life is unavoidable and privacy is rare, as they couldn't walk in public without
people
 staring at them.
Moreover
, it is almost impossible to stop
people
 from using social
media
 or avoided it. It is the price, famous
people
 have to pay. In conclusion, I believe that if social
media
 works under the law with humanity and consideration, being unfairly treated would not be a big problem. If famous
people
 stand in their position with understanding and a good attitude, they would pay for their privacy with pleasure.
Submitted by clairchengun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: