IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

"These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary school. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?"

#countries #people #teachers #school
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years, we have noticed that
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 people are interested to become
teachers
,
particular
Replace the word
particularly
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary school. The main reason justifying
this
 statement
,
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apply
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 is the behaviour of
students
 which we will elaborate
and
Change preposition
on and
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 discuss and propose some solutions to
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 issue. Teaching is
a an
Choose an article
an
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 admirable job which requires
patient
Replace the word
patience
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, skills and love for
children
. Unfortunately, many people's interest in
this
 particular job is diminishing mainly because of student's behaviours.
Children
 at school are conducting themselves very badly and
teachers
 are having difficulties
to control
Change the verb form
controlling
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 these young people.
Such
 behaviours are due to the tolerance of
parents
 today at home.
Parents
 are not guiding their
children
 with
disciplines
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discipline
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 and
no
Add a missing verb
are no
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 more imposing strict regulations. So, many
children
 tend to act deliberately,
consequently
, their conducts are absolutely out of control.
Similarly
, other reasons leading to the bad behaviour of
children
 is that they are exposed to violence, sex and inappropriate videos which are not suitable for their age.
Moreover
, many teenagers are influenced by peer groups and drugs, which eventually
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 them to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very violent behaviour at school.
Consequently
,
teachers
 are having
such
 a bad time with these
students
.
Additionally
,
students
 have no respect for their
teachers
, they utilise vulgar
vocabularies
Fix the agreement mistake
vocabulary
show examples
 with them. Long ago,
students
 were very obedient to
teachers
 as the laws and disciplines were very severe. We have
also
 observed that many
students
 whose
parents
 are divorced or their
parents
 are drug or alcohol addicts tend to have more worst
conducts
Fix the agreement mistake
conduct
show examples
. The government should provide psychological
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 to youngsters and
parents
 as well,
work
Correct word choice
as work
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 for the betterment of
students
. In conclusion, I believe that
that
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apply
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the plague of
the
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apply
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society is not going to eradicate and
therefore
 authorities,
teachers
 and
parents
 should work
collaborately
Correct your spelling
collaboratively
 for supporting
students
 who are in difficulties.
Teachers
 are sometimes underpaid, if the government increases their salary, they might have more interest to work with these
students
 who have bad behaviours.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational system
  • motivation
  • teacher shortage
  • work-life balance
  • job security
  • incentives
  • remuneration
  • public appreciation
  • career prospects
  • professional growth
  • retention rates
  • policy reforms
  • recruitment strategies
  • teaching methods
  • educational resources
  • government funding
What to do next:
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