It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, all family members have their own modern devices
such
as mobile devices, laptops, tablets, etc. Some people state that
this
would affect family relations and communication.
As a result
, it may cause a breakdown in the family.
However
, I disagree with
this
concept for many reasons. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my disagreement will be outlined in detail.
Firstly
, cutting-edge technology benefits the public, including developing a relationship with others and enhancing transmission skills.
Moreover
, the folk can find more activities to spend time together by utilizing modern technical resources.
For example
, parents can play some educational games with their kids by using a laptop.
Besides
, toddlers can learn and do their assignments, and
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
parents can help their children improve communication abilities and social aptitudes through online channels.
In addition
, modern high tech can connect family members who live in different places, making them closer.
For instance
, some students have to study overseas, but they can easily interact with their parents via video calls. Another good example is that
dad
Capitalize word
Dad
show examples
has to work in another province.
Nevertheless
, he built a relationship with his family by calling them, and owing to
this
propensity, the whole connection of the family
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
a peak of great bonding. From my perspective, I believe that the cause of breaking down in the family may
cause
Wrong verb form
be caused
show examples
by other factors
likewise
Rephrase
such as
show examples
carelessness from guardians. In conclusion, I cannot entirely agree with the idea that modern technology may reduce family members' ties since individuals can adapt it to structure an indestructible bond and diminish the distance of their companionship.
Submitted by mosumi431985 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all paragraphs directly relate to the task question and provide a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs for smoother coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: