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Writing Samples
Band 8

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

#criminals #crimes #prison #effect #society
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A number of individuals who were in a prison tend to re-offending a
crime
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 when they just get out of prison. There are a few reasons why they become an offender again and again
such
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 as they may not get rid of negative surroundings that are likely to not obey the law. Now I will discuss the cause of re-offending and
this
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 phenomenon may bring what result the society. Probably the main factor to being criminals again is that they will live in the same environment where they were at that
time
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 to commit a
crime
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 when they get released. Meaning that criminals have relationships with other people who have any criminal history, and
then
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 they may seem like can not be out of the
crime
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 group because they are unable to change their habits and do not know how to live without a
crime
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a sufficient rehabilitation program and
time
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 are needed for them to get a job after serving
time
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 in prison and to live in a new way. The most adverse effect of
this
Linking Words
 is that our society’s safety issues will be questioned. Do we live in a safe environment? Can children play safely on a playground with their friends? Committing a
crime
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 again may be a sign that the government should concentrate on the change of the fundamental jurisdiction system.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can be soft on small crimes, and sentence more financial punishment because criminal history can ruin people’s life by not reversing it. In conclusion, being again in a criminal environment can be the main cause of becoming a re-offender,
thus
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 appropriate post-prison
time
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 service may be much more helpful to eliminate
this
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.
Furthermore
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, the government should pay attention to
this
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 alarm to solve the issue which can threaten society’s safety.
Submitted by mgl2666 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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