Some people believe that sports competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sports competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #competitions #source #stress #youth

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Competing in games is a cause of emotional tension for youngsters,

assumed

Correct word choice

as assumed

show examples

by a few sections of society. In reference to

this

Linking Words

, they should not take

part

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

challenges. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

argue why youth should not keep away from

sports

Use synonyms

challenges.

Firstly

Linking Words

, taking

part

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

competitions

Use synonyms

leads to developing problem-solving skills because

while

Linking Words

playing against opponents, stress which is positive in terms of thinking quickly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is developed.

This

Linking Words

leads to making the player capable

to deal

Change preposition

of dealing

show examples

with problems. As an illustration, it is evident that players always manage their intricacies in more positive ways as compared to others who do not play.

Thereby

Rephrase

Therefore

show examples

, young minds should not refrain from games

competitions

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, playing games in the field

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

the growth of juveniles.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that during competition, competitors inculcate the skills to deliver their best under pressure. A famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar,

for instance

Linking Words

, stated in an interview that cricket helps him to grow because he has to give his best at the playground

while

Linking Words

playing test series.

Thus

Linking Words

, youngsters should

persuade

Wrong verb form

be persuaded

show examples

to take

part

Use synonyms

in game

competitions

Use synonyms

Thirdly

Linking Words

, participating in physical plays brings other qualities which are essential for youth to develop a better society

such

Linking Words

as sportsmanship, patience, anger management and rapid response development. In fact, taking

part

Use synonyms

competitions

Use synonyms

is the best way to develop these qualities in juveniles as they have a lot of energy in them. In

this

Linking Words

way, they can make full use of their energy on the field

instead

Linking Words

of indulging in other dangerous activities.

Hence

Linking Words

, youngsters should

allow taking

Wrong verb form

be allowed to take

show examples

part

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

competitions

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

game challenges could result in emotional stress yet, it is healthy for juveniles to produce problem-solving skills, for growth and develop other imperative qualities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, fresh blood should take

part

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

competitions

Use synonyms

Submitted by immysandhu94 on Mon Sep 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument supported by examples. However, ensure that all points directly link back to the main argument for better clarity and coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the discussion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance coherence.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You have seen advertisement in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your latter Explain why you would like the job Give details of why would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
I hope you are doing great. I am writing to enquire about the job vacancy of babysitting advertised in an Australian magazine for a six-year-old child. I am really interested in a career opportunity where I can spend my time taking care of the child and living at your place for six months, as it will be very helpful in improving my skills. I also completed the two-year diploma course in early childcare and the reason for doing this job is that I really love children and it will be useful for my future career.
6
band
a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views
Nowadays, the growing prevalence of utilizing animals for food and research purposes has triggered a topic of discussion. While some believe that these creatures should not be captured and exploited, others think it would be beneficial for humans. In the subsequent paragraphs, both views will be expanded.
4
band
Some children spend hours everday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Massive technological developments turned to become the biggest phenomenon happening on Earth this past decade. Innovation made by scientists, particularly in Internet and Technology (IT) sector, has led to the existence of some devices, such as smartphones. Furthermore, the access of obtaining a smartphone has been improved, leading to a wide and long use of this device by people with various ages, including children who tend to use it excessively.
4.5
band
These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Disscuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in foreign country. Give reason from for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
We live in this era where mobility inter-country is something that can done easily whether to pursue education or find more opportunities of career. While deciding to live aboard sometimes very exciting for explore different cultures and embrace self development, there are also drawbacks such as long distance relationship with family or the closest ones and abdicating responsibility to build their home country.
4.5
band
You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.
My name is Nurul Hikmah and I am regullar Costumer at your restaurant. I am writing this letter to tell you about what I am facing at your restaurant. this is very bad experience for me and my family. I will tell you In this letter.

Some people believe that sports competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sports competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views

Some children spend hours everday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.