IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
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 email finds you well, I am writing
this
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 message in order to ask some questions regarding the sports club in our neighbourhood. My name is Nouf, I live very close to the sports club, on 6th Street. I recently moved to live here, and I'
m
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 really excited to explore the different places and areas that are near to my house. I'
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 always interested in learning new sports, and I find the swimming pool would be a suitable place in which I'
m
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 able to learn and practice swimming.
Therefore
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, I decided to join the club
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 summer, and I think I will start on the 5th of June. I'
m
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 wondering about the various types of membership, and I kindly request that you provide me with more details.
Such
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 as the swimming membership cost, and if there is a personal trainer in the swimming pool. Looking forward to hearing from you, thank you. Kind regards, Nouf Mut.

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coherence cohesion
It's good that your letter has a clear structure. However, you could benefit from enhancing the logical flow between the paragraphs. Try to make sure each paragraph logically leads to the next.
task achievement
Your letter responds to the task well, but you might want to add a few more specific questions or details about what you are looking for in a sports club to make your request clearer.
coherence cohesion
The closing and greeting of your letter are both polite and appropriate for the context.
task achievement
You have used a tone that is suitable for formal correspondence, which is excellent.
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