Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is sometimes believed that
music
plays a vital role in connecting unacquainted individuals from varying cultures and ages together as a whole. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with the opinion as now will be discussed.
There are several reasons why music
can bring people from different nations together. First
and foremost, music
as a form of entertainment is often considered as
a common language across different nationalities. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, an annually held electronic music
festival called Tomorrowland has been an infamous gathering spot for EDM enthusiasts around the globe. Furthermore
, music
is effective at introducing a country’s culture to foreign
Add an article
a foreign
the foreign
audience
. As an example, the proud success of K-Pop contributes greatly to the development of Korea’s tourist and entertainment industry since it attracts many fans worldwide to visit Korea.
Another point is that Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
music
does not discriminate between ages. This
can easily be observed from the fact that many timeless albums from decades ago are still widely appreciated today. A specific example is the song Bohemian Rhapsody by Queens, even though this
song was composed and first
performed in the 1970s, it is still recognized and favored
by youngsters or millennials in Change the spelling
favoured
this
day and age. Not only for lyrical music
, non-lyrical songs are
strongly capable of connecting people Add the word(s)
but non-lyrical songs are also
from
different ages or backgrounds. Change preposition
of
Such
can be proved by the occupation of both adult and teen participants in many classical music
concerts.
In summary, I certainly believe in the miracle of music
as a way to create a multi-cultural
playground, and as a discussion topic between various age groups.Correct your spelling
multicultural
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite