IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Responsible tourists could preserve both the local culture and environment. Some people think it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourists #culture #environment #people #tourist
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are more and more chances for
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to travel around the world due to globalization and transportation convenience. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think being responsible
tourists
Use synonyms
 who are aware of protecting local
culture
Use synonyms
 and
environment
Use synonyms
 is important and attainable while others think it is difficult to make it as responsible
tourists
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with being a responsible
tourist
Use synonyms
 is necessary and every
tourist
Use synonyms
 should try to achieve it. Some
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 believe that they
don’t
Use synonyms
 need to learn
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 local
culture
Use synonyms
 and protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 for reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they
don’
Correct your spelling
don
show examples
 t have enough time to look around
tourist
Use synonyms
 spots, and it makes them have a quick visit.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
show examples
 they have a tight schedule which not allowed them to talk to
locals
Use synonyms
. They
don’t
Use synonyms
 have any connections with
locals
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they
don’t
Use synonyms
 care if they do something harmful
such
Linking Words
 as throw away garages on the street, wear
heals
Correct your spelling
heels
show examples
 or boots to harm the historic brick road, and say something rude to
locals
Use synonyms
 by accident.
Second
Linking Words
, the irresponsible
tourists
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
 realize they should know more about the local’s history,
culture
Use synonyms
 and customs. If
tourists
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
 collect enough information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
, they will do something wrong by accident. It will make
locals
Use synonyms
 frustrated and feel offended. It is a way to disturb and damage local’s life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 can do something to preserve the local
culture
Use synonyms
 and
environment
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the traveler
a traveler
show examples
traveler
Fix the agreement mistake
travelers
show examples
 can collect and learn useful local information before they visit the place. It is easy to find
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
, cultural activities and
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
tourist
Use synonyms
 spots and get to know more about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before arriving there.
Hence
Linking Words
, the more
people
Use synonyms
 understand the place, the more respect they can give.
Secondly
Linking Words
, making schedules flexible is a way not to damage the local
environment
Use synonyms
. If
people
Use synonyms
 have enough time to look around local places and talk to local
people
Use synonyms
, they will be more aware of their own
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Tourists
Use synonyms
 will have a connection with the
locals
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them have
intention
Change the article
the intention
show examples
 to preserve the local places.
Submitted by hukaihsin99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: