childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

#childhood #besity #world #people #adverts #food #snakes #schools #colleges #dis

Nowadays, inhabitants of the earth, especially children are suffering from fatness.

Thus

, some people think, that advertising fast foods and sweet candies should be illegal. I firmly believe that an unhealthy meal can not be sold or promoted by educational establishments.

Firstly

, most people already know that eating unhealthy cuisines is harmful to their offspring and may lead to dental or alimentary diseases.

For instance

, after school students usually go to local stores and buy chips and sodas, which causes problems with digestion.

Secondly

, the main goal of schools and universities is to teach students, that they are not responsible for the nutrition of children.

Therefore

, we can not consider these places as public ones, which means there is no need for advertising harming grub.

Likewise

, it will distract students from lessons and have bad effects on them.

Lastly

, a child may waste the money that was given by his parents to buy a healthy and fresh lunch for sweeties or useless, non-nutritious snacks . In case, it is worth mentioning that children are not familiar with the values of things and they buy all delicate ones. As an example, by buying those feeds they don't care about problems they may face. Sponsoring junk food doesn't really seem fair. In conclusion, promotions

such

as foodstuff can not be supported by anyone and people must stop advertising fast foods and not useful fares There are so many youngsters who struggle with obesity and other disorders, that producing more convenience food is not going to prevent the bad consequences of growing numbers.

Submitted by inkarerbakytkyzy on Tue Sep 20 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter in response to the parent. In your letter, you should: • discuss and evaluate the issues raised by the parent in the letter • give your own views about teaching life skills and whether you think these lessons should replace other subjects in the curriculum.

Some people believe that children are too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Government could better spend this money on other things to benifit the nation. to what extent do you agree or disagree.