IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that these problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#scientists #people #junk #food #health #education #work
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In the present situation,
junk
 food has become a hot topic
among
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apply
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all over the globe. While some
people
 argue that encouraging individuals to be equipped with knowledge about the impacts on
human
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the human
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 body
by
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of
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 intaking processed
foods
 is the key method to aid
people
 having
clean
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a clean
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diet
, others point out that it would not be effective. In my opinion, I strongly believe that education will not influence
people
 to have a healthy
diet
. On the one hand, advocators who insist that education is the key method to solve increasing unhealthy diets among
people
 maintain that there
are
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is
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 numerous severe
disease
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diseases
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 that fast-
foods
 lead
people
 to death,
which
Correct word choice
and
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 only a few publics are aware
about
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of
show examples
this
 issue. According to the ministry of health,
junk
foods
 contain
huge
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a huge
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 amount of sugar, which expose
people
 to get
such
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a such
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 chronic disease and even lead to death.
Thus
, there is no doubt that if individuals are aware of these adverse impacts on
human
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the human
show examples
 body, they will less likely to consume unhealthy cuisines and rather have
clean
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a clean
show examples
diet
.
Nevertheless
, I am strongly convinced that it is the contemporary
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lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 that made
the
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apply
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people
to
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apply
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enjoy
such
fast-
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fast foods
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foods
. There is no denying the fact that science, which contains biology content is a compulsory subject at
school
. What I mean is that individuals are by no means unaware
of
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apply
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that
junk
 food deteriorates our health but they have no choice but to skip their meals or have
package
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packaged
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foods
 that
saves
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save
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 time. If their hectic
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lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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 can not
be mitigate
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be mitigated
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, either their eating habits will not be changed to a nutritious
diet
.
Additionally
, not only busy adults but
also
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adolescents
aldolescents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 are exposed to
such
junk
foods
 even at
school
. To be specific, there are numerous stores inside the
school
 that provides a lot of snacks and packaged
foods
. Even if they are well-equipped with in-depth knowledge about the seriousness of unhealthy dishes, when they witness the stores cropping up at schools, they will feel rather
non-sense
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nonsense
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 and unconsciously be
attracked
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attracted
attacked
 by those. In conclusion,
although
 educating
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the publics
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publics
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public
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 may help them to be aware of the seriousness of processed
foods
, they will only witness a temporary change.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that unless the government legislate the policy in reducing the hectic
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 for workers or
prevent
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prevents
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 providing unhealthy food at
school
 to students, their eating habits will unlikely
to
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apply
show examples
be changed.
Submitted by clara_you on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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